Year 11

It was 11 years ago today.  I sat in the Middle Bedroom at my Granny’s house holding his hand.  His breathing was shallow and staggered.  He had faded in and out of consciousness several times that evening and we had taken turns sitting with him.  We knew he wasn’t in any pain and were weren’t exactly sure he even knew we were there.  But we like to think he did.  After a very long day and evening, and a day or two prior of much of the same, we knew the time was near.  It was decided by one of us, who exactly I can’t remember and it really doesn’t matter, that maybe we should all go in and tell him it was okay to go.  We knew he was ready and it was okay.  No matter how many times I say it was okay, it really wasn’t.  And still isn’t.  Just don’t tell my Dad that.

They tell you that people in a coma or not in a real state of conciousness can still hear you if you talk to them.  I know now they are right.  Either that, or God heard us and passed the message on to Dad.

It wasn’t more than a few minutes after that, although it seemed like much more, he slipped away.  Hearing from us that we were okay and it was time allowed him to let go as well.  It was very peaceful.  It was heartbreakingly sad.  It was something I would never wish on anyone else and at the same time nothing I would EVER want to trade away.

It was 11 years ago today and it still feels like yesterday. 

It was 11 years ago and I still miss him terribly. 

I love you Dad.

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