Ups and Downs

Here is a quick recap of my week.  I hate to say it’s ending worse than it started … but I had more good days than bad AND I’m only one and a half days away from my EEG that will hopefully shed some light on things.

I think had already written this week that I was seeing some improvement.  Then yesterday I got all wobbly and had serious balance issues and today was … well kind of a train wreck.  Headache back.  Major vibrations and just general shaking all over the top half of my body.  In fact, typing this is kind of difficult, as my fingers don’t really want to do what my brain is telling them.  It’s like they have their own little version of ADD.  So annoying.

But, we won’t dwell on the last two days.  Up until then the week was pretty good.  Not as many attacks and they weren’t as bad.  The coming week brings two major appointments for me.  Tuesday is my EEG and the only negative is that I think I will have to wait two weeks to get the results.  Thursday is my first appointment with my Psychiatrist.  I’m anxious to see what he has to say.  I’m hoping he keeps me on the Lamictal, because I really think it is working.  The next step is to find a therapist … which is a step I have not yet accomplished.  My plan is to ask the doctor on Thursday for any recommendations he might have and then … just start calling people.  As luck has it … this upcoming quarter I have only online classes, so I”m hoping to find someone with early evening appointments on Wednesday’s … since that is my only free evening at this point.

I’m rambling.

Right now I’m relaxing in my basement … just finished a quick dinner … catching up on  The Next Food Network Star and I’m all alone.  My son is spending a couple of weeks with his grandparents, because my daughter is busy visiting out of town friends this week and she and I both will be at a music camp next week.  My husband is off teaching people how to sing and will be gone all week.  And while I miss them already … I’m kind of glad to have an empty house on a night when I am feeling so not-so-great.  When I have bad days or nights, I have tremendous guilt for how it effects my family.  I don’t want them to think I don’t want to be around them, or that I’m mad if I snap and yell … sometimes I just need to be alone.

So: up, down, up, down.  The week has been much like my life in general.  I’m hoping to start heading back up ASAP and find some answers this week.

And so to keep with my tradition of totally non-related photos … here is a shot of the remnants of a wall on Little Round Top where the 20th Maine fought during Gettysburg.  It is one of my favorite stories of the Gettysburg Battle, so it was the one place I wanted to see, and one of my favorite shots of the location.


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