During some of my retrospective thinking … I had a memory of something that happened to me quite often when I was a child. Actually, it wasn’t the retrospective thinking as much as it happened again, in a slightly different way, that triggered the memory.
There is a condition called macrosomatognosia (also microsomatognosia) that is commonly referred to as “Alice in Wonderland Syndrome.” It’s for reals and I have it. Wacky right!
The trigger happened several weeks ago as I was driving one morning to a music school thing where I was to work for the day. I’m driving along and suddenly my fingers felt like ginormous sausages. Huge! But my steering wheel felt like a teeny-tiny toothpick. This was all a “feeling.” Everything looked totally normal. This is the “Macro” version (I assume).
Then, after a moment, I remembered back to when I was a kid. Probably around 7 or 8 years old, give or take. I vividly remember lying in bed and I would experience one of two things:
Usually, what I would feel, was that my entire body would shrink down to small bug/ant size and my room got bigger and bigger and bigger. This happened when I closed my eyes. I would open them frantically because it was freaky scary and I was sure I was being swallowed up by my bed. Occasionally it would switch up and I’d feel like my head or hand/arms were growing bigger and bigger and I was going to blow my room apart. Always while lying in bed. Nearly always with my eyes closed.
Well, I think it is pretty obvious why they call this Alice in Wonderland Syndrome. And guess what … it is associated with Migraine. In fact they think that Lewis Carroll suffered from migraines and that inspired some of what happened to Alice in his book. He may have been high too … who really knows, right?
But there are also medical articles on the terms microsomatognosia and macrosomatognosia. They link these sensations to both migraine and Parkinson’s disease. I’m no expert, if looking over a few googled web pages made you an expert, I’d be an expert in lots of things. But it is always kind of freeing to find something you have experienced that you think is totally insane be an actual thing. That exists in real life. For real.
So next time I have issues with my social phobias … I’ll just leave note that I’ve gone down the rabbit hole. I think it all fits together quite nicely. Don’t you?